What Thirteen-Year-Old Boys Want for Christmas

My mom just told me my little brother's Christmas wishlist, and here are just a few highlights:

• calcium, on the back of an iron stick
• copper
• frozen nitrogen
• an xbox
• a hazmat suit
• Call of Duty Black Ops for xbox
• smoke detectors
• and last but not least, a katana:

And he's going to do what with this?

     I have this crystal clear picture of him in my mind, sitting in the living room in front of his new xbox, in his hazmat suit, waving the smoke detector and the katana around alternately and making sound effects. 

     Also: "calcium on the back of an iron stick"? What? If anyone has any idea what this means, for the love of God, let me know. Sometimes I worry for him. (And by sometimes, I mean most of the time.) I know that it's no frozen nitrogen, but he's just going to have to be content with astronaut ice cream from me this year. 

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Clearly superior.