Wednesday, May 25, 2011

How My Family Spent the Rapture

          I've spent the last few days, including the day of the supposed Rapture, in Sin City, aka Las Vegas. In hindsight, this was a bit of a gamble.

          My fourteen year old brother (the same brother who asked for a Japanese katana sword for Christmas) decided to observe the Rapture in a different style, since he's... let's say "prepared." By that, I mean he's prone to imagining bunker blue prints and what he would do if he were in any given location when the zombie apocalypse were to occur. He reads all the zombie survival guides, keeps canned food in his room, and practices tourniquets. When anyone makes fun of him for doing this, he tells them that they can bleed to death outside of his bunker. Last time I took him to Target and told him to meet me in 20 minutes at the entrance, he showed up holding a giant shovel and a Costco-sized can of whey which he had just purchased. 

          "Um, what do you need that shovel for?" I asked after hiding my most attractive surprise-snort. 

          Completely straight-faced, with the seriousness of a war veteran, he looked me in the eye and simply said, "Digging."

          Yeah, okay. 

(To be honest, these two pictures are just to show off how cute my puppy is again.)

          So my parents tell me that while I was flinging myself down water slides and experiencing the joys of being carded again after a year of living in France, my little brother donned his camo suit, grabbed his pellet gun, his army-regulation back pack of supplies, strapped on his gas mask, and stoically headed out to our backyard playground to make base camp, right after unstrapping his gas mask to kiss the dogs goodbye, telling my dad that he hadn't done his homework yet "just in case" and then strapping it in place again. He stayed out there from 2:45 - 3:05 (the Rapture supposedly occurring at 3pm in California), while my parents stared at him through the window, their brows furrowed in concern (or at least indignation that they only got a peace sign thrown up as the dramatic goodbye from their second born). Then, at 3:06, he nonchalantly climbed down from the play structure tower, unencumbered himself of his survival tools, and went to play Black Ops on his X-Box, never mentioning anything about it again. 

          Too bad he had to do his homework, after all. 

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