Sunday, July 24, 2011

How to Dress in France, Part 2

A photo shoot on Ave Montaigne

          So maybe you think you know French fashion. You've heard about those couture shows, you have an idea of sleek, impeccably tailored models strutting down Avenue Montaigne in Paris, and you know your Coco Chanel from your Louis Vuitton. But I guarantee you, you can buy all the French brand names you want, but you won't look truly French until you know the one golden rule: 

Dress completely, batshit-insane in regards to what the weather looks like outside or what season it is. 

Trust me. You want to look French, don't you?

Typical French Person in Spring:

Typical French Person in Summer:

Typical French Person in Fall:

Typical French Person in Winter:

          Any French person will condescendingly tell you that shorts are for tourists, as they delicately shudder and try not to think of all the fanny packs  and socks-with-sandals they witnessed last year. Was that you wearing a tank top in summer? Putting away your scarves and unlayering your multiple cardigans? Oh you poor, ignorant bébé. Shame on you for not wanting to sweat, all day, everyday, and especially on the metro. Your duty as a faux-French citizen is to stick it out in wool leggings lest you develop some sort of tan. 

          What's that? Is it freezing in a snow storm in the dead of winter? And you want to wear a giant coat? Non, non, non! Your flimsy leather bomber jacket and a kerchief around your neck should do the trick. Your smugness in the knowledge that you look good will toast you right up! And just think about all the calories all that shivering will burn! 

3 comments:

  1. you seriously kill me. i love you.

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  2. Lol! And this year, we only got one season in France: winter. I've never been so cold in summer... So yes, I guess we don't need to change that much. :-)

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